From Bic Runga’s Sway
“It makes me so tired,
I feel so uninspired…”
The last few days, I’ve not quite known what to blog about… again. We had Waitangi Day, which I covered, but then Thursday rolled around and… My mind went blank. I did have ideas, but there didn’t seem enough substance or knowledge to cover what I thought I should talk about.
I did dig through some old papers and found a journal from 2002 that I was supposed to keep for my life writing class. Part of that was a journal I kept on our first ever cruise. I diligently typed it all out again, all 5,000 words or so of it, and split it into 6 blog entries, with pictures… But I realised these were my thoughts nearly 11 years ago and I’m not quite sure if I ever want to share them with the world. Maybe I will add them as some sort of “blogs from the past” and date them accurately so they appear in the archives here, so they are in context. I’m not sure.
I have found lately that, if I don’t think about breaking down tasks into smaller, easier-to-manage tasks, I find them overwhelmingly difficult, and it stresses me out. My ideas are stale and few-and-far between (and I used to be so creative). My tendency not to think in manageable, bite-sized chunks is a definite disadvantage, and I think this is having a negative effect on my inspiration.
Pushing that further along, I feel like I’ve had these same, stale ideas for years, notes and notes galore, and I still haven’t pushed myself to do anything about them. My life lately has gone back to being work-driven because, I guess, that’s one part of my life I feel I have some control over. Work seems to be the foundation of my life, and the more I think about it, the more I am realizing it shouldn’t be. I honestly think I need to start taking more of my down time focussing on my writing and my creative side.
Part of this extends to my blog. What should this be about? Should it be about my personal life, things that happen from day-to-day? Or should it be about works I’d like to review? Or my writing? A mix of things? Right now, it seems a mix of things.
Anyway… thanks for listening while I ramble on about this. If you have any suggestions, or any blogs that might help focus me, I’d appreciate it. 🙂