“Have some self-respect,” was the first thought in my mind as I smelled it.
I didn’t have a choice in smelling it; as he wandered past in his singlet, work overalls and gum boots as he entered the supermarket before me, the smell of body odour wafted towards me. Stuck in a jet stream of nasty odour, I moved to the side to try to avoid it, but to no avail.
Now, I personally have a thing against body odour. Maybe I have more pride in myself or am more self-conscious of body odour or something, but, as Noel will tell you, I’m one of those people who really likes to be and smell very clean. (In our entire time together, he’s told me I’ve only ever had slight body odour once, and that was when we were flying from Christchurch to Chicago and I must’ve not put enough deodorant on… but he said the smell wasn’t bad, just noticeable!)
So, after getting out from behind smelly farm worker number one, I quickly did my shopping, grabbing a few bottles of wine for our typical Friday night at Jacqui and James’s, full of pizza and booze and chips, to run into … non-deodorant-wearing guy number 2.
The problem with him was a) he was moving slow b) he looked like him, his wife and his kids all had bolts loose c) he’d been talking to himself in the aisle a few seconds before… and answering himself back and d) did I mention he smelled?
So I was stuck behind smelly number two. And I saw smelly number one quickly approaching the checkouts. Steaming past both smelly men one and two, I parked myself as the first person at a bored (yet nice) check-out operator who had nothing to do.
I find it astonishing the amount of people in New Zealand — mostly men — who don’t wear deodorant. Some of them are young men, young attractive men, who, quite honestly, stink. Noel and I had a friend who was not a frequent user of deodorant (and we tried to say nicely to him about it but I’m not sure if he sprayed under his arms or what but he still kinda had the BO problem). The other day, Dave O and I went to see Transformer and this young guy in front of us — and we’re talking about three feet between our chairs and his — absolutely ponged. To be honest, it kinda put me off the movie a bit.
I don’t know if some US men are the same, or if it’s just a New Zealand thing, or what, but I find it rather disturbing, not to mention smelly.
Deodorant is not that expensive. It’s not that difficult to use. It’s not even that difficult to remember to use! And, in this day and age, there are so many options. There’s no excuse to be smelly… at all.
So as I end a rant, a word of wise to men and women alike out there: deodorant is your friend!
Beam Me Up, Scotty 